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Love Unsoiled is one of the adventures in the campaign: The Wild Beyond the Witchlight.
| Gain Endelyn's allegiance by performing the epic tragedy: Love Unsoiled! | |||
| Requirement(s) | Must have completed "The Minions of Endelyn Moongrave" | ||
| Objective(s) | |||
| Restriction(s) | |||
| Rewards(?) | Formation |
| |
Variants[]
The Play's the Thing![]
All The World's A Stage[]
| File:Icon All The World's A Stage.png | Gain Endelyn's allegiance with the bardiest bards that ever barded! | |||
| Requirement(s) | ||||
| Objective(s) | ||||
| Restriction(s) | ||||
| Rewards(?) | Formation |
| ||
| Patron: Mirt | ||||
| Patron: Vajra | ||||
| Patron: Strahd | ||||
| Patron: Zariel | ||||
| Patron: Elminster | ||||
Waves[]
| Type | Waves | Bosses | Favored By |
|---|---|---|---|
| armor-based | 0 | 1 | Binwin, Ezmerelda, Gazrick, Grimm, Hew Maan[WL 1], Lucius, Selise[WL 2], Windfall[WL 3], Wulfgar |
| beast | 20 | 4 | Imoen[WL 4], Jaheira[WL 4], Minsc[WL 4], Zorbu |
| bullywug | 4 | 1 | |
| construct | 4 | 2 | Kalix[WL 5], Wyll[WL 6] |
| demon | 0 | 1 | |
| fey | 9 | 0 | Minsc[WL 4] |
| fiend | 0 | 1 | Brother Uriah[WL 7], Ezmerelda[WL 8], Farideh[WL 9], Havilar[WL 10], Jaheira[WL 4], Reya, Turiel, Wyll |
| goblin | 5 | 1 | |
| goblinoid | 5 | 1 | |
| hit-based | 0 | 2 | Binwin, Ezmerelda, Grimm, Hew Maan[WL 1], Windfall[WL 3] |
| human | 4 | 0 | Dynaheir, Ezmerelda[WL 11], Jaheira[WL 4], Kalix, Minsc[WL 4], Zorbu |
| humanoid | 15 | 4 | Dynaheir, Ezmerelda[WL 11], Jaheira[WL 4], Kalix, Minsc[WL 4], Zorbu |
| lycanthrope | 2 | 1 | |
| melee | 50 | 9 | |
| plant | 4 | 0 | |
| ranged | 5 | 1 | |
| static | 0 | 1 | |
| undead | 9 | 0 | Brother Uriah[WL 7], Ezmerelda, Jaheira[WL 4], Minsc[WL 4], Nerys, Volo[WL 12], Wyll[WL 13], Zorbu |
Please add all the missing waves definition (with "0 & 0" or no values in case you don’t know them…) based on in-game’s "ENEMY TYPES" data mentionned on adventure’s starting/choice screen, place them between the header & the footer lines (which should remain untouched), and keep the monster-type lines sorted alphabetically. Thanks! (click this link for more info)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Only valid for Kleeb - [Middle Columns] - and only working against boss enemies if they have hits-based or armor-based health.
- ↑ Only valid with Selise’s Aggressive stance.
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 Only valid with Windfall’s Black Dragon's Corrosion specialization.
- ↑ 4.00 4.01 4.02 4.03 4.04 4.05 4.06 4.07 4.08 4.09 4.10 Only one type of monsters for a given Champion depending on the chosen specialization.
- ↑ Only valid with Kalix’s Hunt the Bound Feat.
- ↑ Only valid with Wyll’s The Heartless Feat.
- ↑ 7.0 7.1 Only valid with Brother Uriah’s Book of Exalted Deeds specialization.
- ↑ Only valid with Ezmerelda’s Guide to Fiends Feat.
- ↑ Only valid with Farideh’s Pact with Lorcan specialization, and all boss enemies also count as demonic Fiends for the purposes of all abilities that care about such things.
- ↑ See details about Havilar’s special mechanics.
- ↑ 11.0 11.1 Only valid with Ezmerelda’s Guide to Humanoids Feat.
- ↑ Only valid with Volo’s Volo's Guide to Spirits and Specters specialization.
- ↑ Only valid with Wyll’s The Soulless Feat.
| Wave | Tags | Monsters | Monster Tags | Image |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | underground | Bat | beast melee |
|
| 2 | underground | Bat | beast melee | |
| 3 | underground | Bat, Giant Caterpillar | beast melee | |
| 4 | underground | Giant Caterpillar | beast melee | |
| 5 | underground | Giant Caterpillar | beast melee | |
| Boss | underground | Giant Centipede | beast boss melee | |
| 6 | underground | Giant Rat | beast melee |
|
| 7 | underground | Giant Rat, Spider Hatchlings | beast melee | |
| 8 | underground | Spider Hatchlings | beast melee | |
| 9 | underground | Spider Hatchlings | beast melee | |
| 10 | underground | Spider Hatchlings | beast melee | |
| Boss | underground | Skull-Face Spider | beast boss melee | |
| 11 | Shadow | undead melee |
| |
| 12 | Wigged Giant Rat | beast melee | ||
| 13 | Wigged Giant Rat | beast melee | ||
| 14 | Shadow, Wigged Giant Rat | beast undead melee | ||
| 15 | Shadow | undead melee | ||
| Boss | Shadow Demon | boss demon fiend melee | ||
| 16 | Goblin | goblin goblinoid humanoid melee | ||
| 17 | Batiri Goblin | goblin goblinoid humanoid melee | ||
| 18 | Batiri Goblin | goblin goblinoid humanoid melee | ||
| 19 | Batiri Goblin, Goblin | goblin goblinoid humanoid melee | ||
| 20 | Goblin | goblin goblinoid humanoid melee ranged | ||
| Boss | Goblin Gardener | boss goblin goblinoid humanoid melee | ||
| 21 | Awakened Toadstool | plant melee |
| |
| 22 | Awakened Shrub, Awakened Toadstool | plant melee | ||
| 23 | Awakened Toadstool | plant melee | ||
| 24 | Awakened Object, Awakened Shrub | construct plant melee | ||
| 25 | Awakened Object | construct melee | ||
| Boss | Awakened Armor | boss construct melee | ||
| 26 | Wigged Giant Rat | beast melee | ||
| 27 | Wigged Giant Rat | beast melee | ||
| 28 | Motherhorn Thespian, Wigged Giant Rat | 'beast humanoid 'melee | ||
| 29 | Awakened Object, Wigged Giant Rat | beast construct melee | ||
| 30 | Awakened Object, Motherhorn Thespian | construct humanoid melee | ||
| Boss | Scary Nesting Doll, Middle Scary Nesting Doll, Final Scary Nesting Doll | boss construct hit-based melee | ||
| 31 | outdoors | Darkling, Motherhorn Thespian | fey humanoid melee |
|
| 32 | outdoors | Darkling, Motherhorn Thespian | fey humanoid melee | |
| 33 | outdoors | Darkling, Pink Elephant | beast fey melee | |
| 34 | outdoors | Illusory Fancy Red Panda | beast melee | |
| 35 | outdoors | Illusory Fancy Red Panda | beast melee | |
| Boss | outdoors | Baeloth's King of Feathers | beast boss hit-based static ranged | |
| 36 | outdoors | Crawling Claw, Vampire Spawn | undead melee |
|
| 37 | outdoors | Vampire Spawn, Zombie Villager | undead melee | |
| 38 | outdoors | Skeleton, Skeleton Archer | undead melee ranged | |
| 39 | outdoors | Vampire Spawn, Werewolf | humanoid lycanthrope undead melee | |
| 40 | outdoors | Vampire Spawn, Werewolf | humanoid lycanthrope undead melee | |
| Boss | outdoors | Dashing Werewolf | boss humanoid lycanthrope melee | |
| 41 | outdoors | Vampire Spawn | undead melee | |
| 42 | outdoors | Bullywug Korred | bullywug fey melee | |
| 43 | outdoors | Bullywug Korred | bullywug fey melee | |
| 44 | outdoors | Bullywug Brigganock, Bullywug Korred | bullywug fey melee | |
| 45 | outdoors | Bullywug Brigganock, Bullywug Korred | bullywug fey melee | |
| Boss | outdoors | Bullywug Riding a Crocodile | beast boss bullywug humanoid melee | |
| 46 | outdoors | Wedding Guest | human humanoid melee ranged | |
| 47 | outdoors | Wedding Guest | human humanoid melee ranged | |
| 48 | outdoors | Satyr | fey melee | |
| 49 | outdoors | Satyr, Wedding Guest | fey human humanoid melee | |
| 50 | outdoors | Wedding Guest | human humanoid melee ranged | |
| Boss | outdoors | Thespian Yorven | armor-based boss humanoid melee |
Transcript[]
| Gain Endelyn's allegiance by performing the epic tragedy: Love Unsoiled! | ||||||
| Area | Goal | Quests & Cinematics | ||||
![]() Obud: |
Well, Champions, now that you've united us against our true enemy, Endelyn Moongrave, we're happy to help you get into her fortress of Motherhorn. | |||||
![]() Queen Argantle: |
In through the secret tunnel, and then wreck up all her wicked plans! | |||||
Celeste: |
Thank you both. I'm glad we were able to help you sort out your differences. We'll stop Endelyn and free Prismeer from the Hourglass Coven's rule. | |||||
Nat: |
[signs] And find out where the hags have hidden Squiddly and Jenks! | |||||
![]() Gleam: |
And free my sister! | |||||
Blooshi: |
And deal with these bats! | |||||
| 1 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Time to make for Motherhorn! But first, clear out these bats! | ||||
![]() Obud: |
The tunnel to Motherhorn is this way. The brigganocks stand ready to help you. | |||||
![]() Queen Argantle: |
The korreds too. It's the least we can do. Just call if you need us. | |||||
Bruenor: |
Thank ye again! | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
If our plan involves hordes of little creatures swarming out of the tunnel, I think we need to discuss that sooner rather than later. | |||||
Celeste: |
That sounds like you have a plan. | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
Look we did the 'small fighters go in swinging' plan last time, and we did get the kids out of Loomlurch. But we don't know our way around Motherhorn. If we're going to rescue Glister and find out where Squiddly and Jenks might have gone, we have to be sneakier. We should try and get on Endelyn's good side. Go undercover. | |||||
Yorven: |
How do you expect we will manage that? The hag is relentless, observant -- she studies the future in her orrery and delights in tragedy. | |||||
![]() Gleam: |
She does like the theater. There should be lots of disguises around. | |||||
Nayeli: |
Is this one going to turn into you trying to become best friends with the hag again? | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
Please, I'm extremely discerning. Let's get through this tunnel and we'll discuss specifics. | |||||
| 2 | Defeat 25 Enemies | More bats fill the secret tunnel to Motherhorn, but they're no trouble for you! | ||||
Jarlaxle: |
It should be a simple enough thing to disguise ourselves as actors. Pretend we're putting on a play and find out how to get to Glister -- and how to stop Endelyn. | |||||
Celeste: |
I might be forced to agree here. We've gotten in over our heads both times we've gone up against a hag. It might be wisest to do some scouting around. | |||||
Bruenor: |
Aye, and if we can get some o' her other actors talkin' we might find out nuff ta make tha job quick! | |||||
Nayeli: |
Well...if we're doing this, we should be sure we're observing Prismeer's rule of reciprocity. We should have something to offer when we're asking for help. Let's gather up some of these gems to offer. | |||||
| 3 | Collect 25 Gems | The rule of reciprocity means be ready to barter! Gather some gems to make a good deal. | ||||
| 4 | Defeat 25 Enemies | The caves tremble with the many feet of giant caterpillars! Oh no! Swat those pests! | ||||
| 5 | Defeat the Giant Centipede | Another giant centipede? Don't let its powerful jaws crush you! | ||||
Nat: |
[signs] Look! A door! That must be the way into Motherhorn. | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
Remember, if anyone asks, you're all actors. | |||||
Blooshi: |
This is going to be FUN. | |||||
Minsc: |
We are not actually being actors, right? Memorization and standing up on stage without being able to use my real sword--this is basically my nightmare. | |||||
Yorven: |
All you need do is seem gloomy and standoffish. That will make you suitable in the eyes of 'the Bitter End' and so everyone else will believe it. | |||||
Minsc: |
Hm. All right. I will be more like you, Yorven! Thank you for the pep talk! | |||||
| 6 | Defeat 25 Enemies | You've made it into Motherhorn. Now to sneak up to the main floor -- but don't let those rats give you away! | ||||
Blooshi: |
Whoa, what's all this junk? | |||||
![]() Gleam: |
The remains of Endelyn's plays. That's old scenery. These are props. That's a marionette. | |||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
Excuse me? Could you lend me a hand here? I seem to have gotten, uh, hung up. | |||||
Celeste: |
Oh my stars! Here, hold still! | |||||
Bruenor: |
Spiders! Spiders and rats! Look out! | |||||
| 7 | Defeat 25 Enemies | This basement is full of discarded props and scripts...and rats and spiders! Clear these vermin out! | ||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
Oh thank you! I've been stuck dangling since Endelyn threw me down here. No use for a living marionette that didn't get the cruel streak she was aiming for. | |||||
Bruenor: |
Ye're nae a fan of tha hag then? | |||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
Not even a little. Oh! Oh, are you adventurers? Are you planning to defeat her? That's grand! You helped me get down from that corner, let me help you make a plan to defeat Bitter End. | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
We have a plan thanks. We're actors. We're at Motherhorn to perform. We're scoping out the theater. | |||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
I see...Do you have a play? | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
Yeah, we're not doing that. We don't need to be actual actors. | |||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
Yeah...You're going to need a play. Endelyn doesn't just let random thespians wander around Motherhorn unaccompanied. You're going to need to put on a show if you want to 'scope out the theater' as you put it. And you're going to have to SELL IT. | |||||
Blooshi: |
What does THAT mean? | |||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
It means you need a play. And costumes. And props. And a set. You need to come in like you've got everything to prove and then PROVE IT. | |||||
Blooshi: |
...I'm ready. | |||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
Then grab some set decorations. You need to put on a show! | |||||
| 8 | Collect 25 Stage Decorations | To keep up your disguise, you'll have to put on a show! Gather up some of these decorations for your play! | ||||
| 9 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Spider hatchlings swarm all over the basement! Keep them away! | ||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
That's a good start, but you're still going to need a play to perform. | |||||
Celeste: |
I think we can whip something up. I used to perform in the Shieldmeet pageants at the Temple of Selûne back home. We can do something very edifying! | |||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
'Edifying' isn't really Endelyn's style. | |||||
Bruenor: |
Maybe a comedy? A good raucous skit o' silliness always gets tha dwarves howlin'! | |||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
Mmm, guess again. Drow, do you have an idea? | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
Well, I'm going out on a limb and assuming it's not spider-themed, so let's take care of this beast. | |||||
| 10 | Defeat the Skull-Face Spider | Oh no! Momma's home! Fight that skull-face spider! | ||||
Blooshi: |
Ooh! Ooh! Does she like romance? | |||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
Have you people ever met a hag before? What she likes is tragedies. The crueler the better. Get yourself a real tearjerker she can cackle over, and you'll be in her good graces in no time. That door leads to the workshop. You should be able to find costumes -- maybe even a play. | |||||
![]() Gleam: |
Dottie and I will stay back here until you find the way to Glister. It's better if we don't catch Endelyn's attention. | |||||
![]() Break-a-Leg: |
Glister? Glister...ah, yes, you're the Selenion Twins! I remember now. Boy, Creeping Lyn never met an eclipse she didn't hate, even if it wasn't exactly the real thing. I hope you get your sister out and she panics like your moon and Glister's sun are the real deal. | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
[sigh] Everything on this plane is ridiculous. | |||||
![]() Charmay: |
You! Goblins! Where is my fan? My character conveys her disdain through the gestures of her fan. | |||||
Goblin: |
It's being repaired, Lady Skylla -- | |||||
![]() Charmay: |
I TOLD YOU, MY NAME IS CHARMAY. | |||||
Goblin: |
Right! Right! Sorry! Sorry, Lady Charmay. It's being repaired, after you broke it over the head of a stagehand. Give us just another hour and -- | |||||
![]() Charmay: |
Honestly, I can't work under these conditions! Props not ready! Goblins being rude! Detached shadows running amok! Go back to Endelyn, you miscreants! You can't have my autograph! | |||||
Minsc: |
Shadows! I know what to do with these! | |||||
| 11 | Defeat 25 Enemies | These shadows were made by Endelyn Moongrave, just like Gleam's was! Don't let them steal your things! | ||||
![]() Charmay: |
Who ARE you people? Fans? Reporters? | |||||
Minsc: |
Heroes! | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
I've got this. We're actors! We've just arrived at Motherhorn to put on our new play. | |||||
![]() Charmay: |
And you're looking for a leading lady? | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
...We are always sourcing new talent. Yorven and Blooshi here just joined the, er, troupe. What do you bring to the party? | |||||
![]() Charmay: |
I'm sorry, are you not LOOKING at me right now? I bring THIS to the party. | |||||
Blooshi: |
We should think about recruiting her. She sounds very confident. | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
Yeah, that's not the word I'd use... | |||||
Bruenor: |
But she is experienced! We oughta ask her about Endelyn. See if she secretly likes slapstick. | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
I've got this. Ah, Lady Charmay, clearly you are so much more talented than our pitiful ensemble. We could only hope to one day mount a production worthy of your skills as a thespian. After all, who HASN'T heard of the great Charmay? | |||||
![]() Charmay: |
Oh? You've heard of me? | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
You're very big in Downfall. And look! Even the rats wish they were you. They've...made tiny wigs to look like your hair! | |||||
| 12 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Even the rats in this place are dressed up! Step it up! | ||||
![]() Charmay: |
Thank you for dealing with those rats. I have an image to maintain. | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
Of course, of course. But looking ahead, to that...glorious future we can one day hope to achieve where we can do a star of your caliber justice...how would you say is the best way to impress Endelyn Moongrave? | |||||
![]() Charmay: |
Give up? She's a very demanding audience. | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
Oh we're not the giving up sort. We've been told she likes tragedies? The bleaker the better? | |||||
Bruenor: |
Has anyone TRIED just like throwin' a pie? Fer a lark? | |||||
Celeste: |
Or moral instruction? Have you tested moral instruction? | |||||
![]() Charmay: |
Well, if you're determined, then my best advice is to use what's available. Playwrights are always sending their work to Motherhorn to be considered. There are scripts all over here. | |||||
Celeste: |
'The Lich King's Revel.' A lich king cannot decide which of his living sons should inherit his kingdom, so he throws a ball. | |||||
Blooshi: |
Ooh, is there like a princess that comes to the ball and gets chosen by one of the princes and they like rule the kingdom as dual evil overlords? | |||||
Celeste: |
No. It looks like it ends with the lich king grafting all three sons into a single flesh golem and giving that the throne. | |||||
Blooshi: |
Whoa. Bleak. | |||||
![]() Charmay: |
I told you. You have a lot to do. And Motherhorn won't make it easy! Creeping Lyn's shadows get feisty and the rats don't like sharing the stage. Meanwhile, you've got costumes to acquire, lines to learn, props to manage and a set to build! | |||||
| 13 | Collect 25 Paintbrushes | You need a good set to pull off this play! Snatch those paintbrushes up and get to work! | ||||
Yorven: |
This is a good play. A young warrior is cast out into the darkness of the planes and must fight his way back to the kingdom that was stolen-- | |||||
Blooshi: |
BORING. | |||||
Yorven: |
You didn't even let me finish! | |||||
Celeste: |
It doesn't sound very tragic. I mean, clearly the warrior will return and defeat the evil ones who cast him out, righting wrongs and saving the innocent, while still struggling with his wounds. | |||||
Yorven: |
Well...not necessarily. | |||||
Blooshi: |
Face it Yorven: you have a TYPE. Dramatic and gloomy, but heroic. Just help with the settings. Those should be easy enough to keep gloomy. | |||||
| 14 | Defeat 25 Enemies | There's so much to do if you're going to manage to put together a show in time! Keep your cool and fight those rats and shadows! | ||||
Blooshi: |
Oohhhh! Hey! Hey! Hey! I found it. I found the PERFECT play! It's called 'Love Unsoiled,' and it's about a fair maiden who falls in love with a handsome zombie but her family...and maybe his family! Won't let them be together! | |||||
Celeste: |
I mean that seems like a very reasonable position for them to take, all things considered. | |||||
Bruenor: |
It sounds HILARIOUS! Droppin' arms! Undead puns! | |||||
Blooshi: |
It's romantic AND tragic...although I think it would be better if the maiden got with the handsome zombie and also got hordes of undead to do her bidding...But we can figure it out while we rehearse? | |||||
Minsc: |
I will rehearse smashing this shadow demon! | |||||
| 15 | Defeat the Shadow Demon | Endelyn's shadow demon has escaped its confines! Send it scurrying back into the light! | ||||
![]() Charmay: |
Well. You have the fight choreography down. Has anyone ever told you you'd make decent adventurers? | |||||
Jarlaxle: |
Yeah, I think we've heard that before. | |||||
![]() Charmay: |
Well, it sounds like you've got your play. Don't mess it up with the casting! | |||||
Blooshi: |
Casting seems like the easy part. I should obviously be the maiden. I am meant to rule a horde of zombies. | |||||
Celeste: |
That's not in the play. | |||||
Blooshi: |
Well it's like what my character would DO. Anyway, we need a handsome zombie, an angry father, an angry mother, and...we'll figure out the rest. Celeste, you should be the angry mother. | |||||
Nat: |
[signs] You would be good at that, Celeste. | |||||
Celeste: |
Excuse me? I'm not angry. I'm just firm. And sometimes disappointed and -- Will you goblins get yourselves under control? | |||||
Blooshi: |
That's perfect! | |||||
| 16 | Defeat 25 Enemies | These goblins won't stop fighting! You'll have to stand strong! | ||||
Celeste: |
Before you get too far into handing out roles, we should see what sorts of costumes we can get. We may have to adapt the play if there aren't enough of the right sorts of costumes. | |||||
Blooshi: |
I guess that makes sense. Everyone look around and see what we can find. | |||||
Blooshi: |
All right what have we got? | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
ARRRRR, ME DAUGHTER! | |||||
Blooshi: |
What is that? What are you doing? | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
I thought I could play tha disapprovin' father. Who's a pirate. | |||||
Blooshi: |
Why is he a pirate? | |||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
There are a lot of pirate costumes here. We're going to want to work pirates into the story. And possibly goblin fighting -- what is WITH these goblins? | |||||
| 17 | Defeat 25 Enemies | The serious business of theater is being interrupted by raucous goblins! Knock them down! DRAMATICALLY! | ||||
Blooshi: |
All right so we have two pirates -- | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
Three! I figured I could provide illusions to liven up the sets, and why not join in the fun! | |||||
Blooshi: |
Okay well...then anyone who can be a pirate probably should be a pirate. A pirate crew. Celeste, did you find anything suitably maternal? | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
Not exactly. | |||||
Blooshi: |
What?! Why are you a zombie? You're supposed to be MAD that I want to be with a zombie? | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
It's what I could find! And anyway, I think it adds some depth to the play if the, er, handsome zombie has someone concerned about him too! He should be warned about the perils of falling in with a charismatic overlord! | |||||
Blooshi: |
She's a delicate maiden following her heart and her dreams! Oh, nevermind. We'll make it work. | |||||
![]() Motherhorn Thespian: |
Excuse me? Who took all the pirate costumes? We're planning a performance of 'An Island of Death in an Ocean of Tears', and we need all of them. | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
ARRRR! Surely there's nuff ta go 'round! There's piles o' them! | |||||
![]() Motherhorn Thespian: |
I don't think you understand how it works around here. We have room for ONE nautically themed play in this theater and my troupe is DOING it! | |||||
Blooshi: |
Pirates can be in non-nautical plays. We need these costumes. | |||||
![]() Motherhorn Thespian: |
Stage Goblins, I want those costumes. Get them! | |||||
| 18 | Collect 25 Costumes | Here are costumes you can use for your play! If only you can get them away from the goblins! | ||||
Blooshi: |
You are not messing this up for me, tiefling! | |||||
![]() Motherhorn Thespian: |
Upstart! This isn't the last you'll see of us! | |||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
You've still got to figure out who the Handsome Zombie is. And I think there's a clear, if annoying, choice. | |||||
Blooshi: |
Way ahead of you. Very dramatic. Good in spooky makeup. Very tall. | |||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
Is Murder-Bunny that tall? | |||||
Blooshi: |
Yorven? Ew. No. He'll take over every scene with his brooding and lightning bolts. I'm talking about Avren! | |||||
Avren: |
Sorry what? | |||||
| 19 | Defeat 25 Enemies | The stagehands in this place are very aggressive -- hit your marks and hit your targets! | ||||
Blooshi: |
You're the Handsome Zombie. Find a costume. | |||||
Avren: |
I have seen true evil from the depths of the Abyss to the spires of Avernus, but nothing has chilled my soul like community theatre. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Great. Channel that into the character. How do I look? | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
Umm, well...dramatic. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Like the embodiment of spring and also war and being super cool, right? | |||||
Goblin Gardener: |
Oy! What are you lot doing? That's not how 'Love Unsoiled' goes! Pirates and zombie mothers! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
It's an INTERPRETATION. | |||||
Goblin Gardener: |
Well it thwarts the playwright's vision of love as an inescapable tomb if there's an implication that you can avoid it by listening to your elders! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Um, okay. Whatever that means. | |||||
Goblin Gardener: |
It means respect the text or duel me! | |||||
| 20 | Defeat the Goblin Gardener | This goblin doesn't like what you're doing to the text! Defend your direction! | ||||
Yorven: |
Let me get this straight: I'm from this blasted hellscape. I have steeped my soul in the darkness of the Shadowfell. You all complain CONSTANTLY about how dramatic I am -- | |||||
Nayeli: |
Technically only Jarlaxle complains about it. | |||||
Yorven: |
And my part in this is to be 'scenery painter'? | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Listen, not everyone is ready for an ACTUAL play, you know? | |||||
Yorven: |
You were cast because you're tall! | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
So...try being taller next time? | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
All right, anything else we need to work in? | |||||
Giant Boo Costume Minsc: |
I found this. I will not be taking it off. | |||||
Boo: |
Squeak! | |||||
![]() Prismeer Nayeli: |
I found a bullywug guard costume | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Oooh, we should have a chorus of bullywugs! To be the villagers! Ooh! That's what we could use the brigganocks and korreds for! Extras! Can we find more of those helmets? Are -- Ew! This place is growing fungus! | |||||
| 21 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Awakened toadstools have sprouted all over the props storage! Watch out for their teeth! | ||||
| 22 | Defeat 25 Enemies | More awakened toadstools! It's almost as if Thither is bleeding through... | ||||
![]() Prismeer Nayeli: |
Look! Those shelves have some bullywug head masks! Those will be perfect. | |||||
Goblin: |
Those are for 'Blightstraw's Fall' which...we're not doing right now, for obvious reasons, so if you want to use them, you just have to fight the toadstools! | |||||
| 23 | Collect 25 Prop Heads | If you're going to convince your audience that brigganocks and korreds are bullywugs, you'll need some artful props! Grab a village's worth of papier-mâché heads! | ||||
![]() Prismeer Nayeli: |
Great! We just have to pass a message through Gleam and Dottie back to the brigganocks and korreds. Who wants to carry it? | |||||
| 24 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Not all those props are safe to handle! Fight back! | ||||
| 25 | Defeat the Animated Armor | That armor in the corner looks nice...until it attacks! Defeat the animated armor! | ||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
All right! I think we have everything! Baeloth, make sure you create lots of lightning and spooky music. Celeste, be very judgmental with your zombie moans. Bruenor...more angry dad than pirate please. And Avren. | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
I think I know how to be a handsome undead hero. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Just...think 'tall.' Nat, you and Star are on props. | |||||
Nat: |
[signs] Got it! | |||||
![]() Star: |
[indicates] We will get it done! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Great. Yorven, don't let the sets fall down. Everyone remember to have fun, and also don't step on my lines. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Why are there so many people back here? | |||||
![]() Motherhorn Thespian: |
You again? Did you not sign up for a call time? The wait is three days. | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
We don't have three days. Gleam and Dottie are still waiting and the other two hags could track us down any minute. | |||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
Why don't you give us your spot? Won't you feel better going on after our very amateur production? It can only make you look better? | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Hey! | |||||
![]() Motherhorn Thespian: |
Or you make Endelyn so appalled she leaves and refuses to watch any other plays! Get to the back of the line with the rats! | |||||
| 26 | Defeat 25 Enemies | The line is long -- but you don't have time for this! Fight these costumed rats for a spot! | ||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
Hey, pal, you seem to be in charge here. Can you get us to the front of the line? I can offer you a truly ludicrous amount of gold. | |||||
![]() Stagefright: |
Gold? Sir, this is the theater. We're not in it for the money. We're in it because we are passionate about the stage! Also we're strictly a barter economy around here. | |||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
Then...I'm sorry, I'm not from around here. Where I come from most bribes come in the form of gold or murder. | |||||
![]() Stagefright: |
Look I'm not really supposed to say this, since it causes a lot of chaos...but what the hey, I'm bored. If you can battle your way to the front of the line, you can get in next. | |||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
That is very doable. Thank you! | |||||
![]() Stagefright: |
Thank me when you've got past the rats. They have a script for 'A Tragedy at Twilight' and they're very motivated. | |||||
| 27 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Stagefright the stage manager says you need to fight your way to the front of the line. Start with these rats! | ||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Is everyone off-script? | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
Er, what's off-script? | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
DO YOU HAVE YOUR LINES MEMORIZED? | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
Oh sure. 'Ho, me daughter where have ye been? What is...What is...' Blast it. Line? | |||||
Yorven: |
'What is that dirt upon your knee, so redolent of the grave.' | |||||
![]() Motherhorn Thespian: |
You dolts don't deserve this play! We're taking those scripts! | |||||
| 28 | Collect 25 Script Pages | You need those script pages still! Get them back! | ||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
I dinnae see why it matters if I have it all memorized. If I forget, Yorven can whisper tha line ta me! | |||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
You've actually memorized the whole play, Murder-Bunny? | |||||
Yorven: |
I have a good memory. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
And pretty terrible brushwork -- the sets aren't finished! | |||||
| 29 | Defeat 25 Enemies | There are so many enemies cluttering the backstage! Clear some space! | ||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
All right folks, you heard the goblin. We need to make a push for the front of the line. | |||||
Giant Boo Costume Minsc: |
Perhaps we could change the play to just be a fight scene where we do battle with evil. | |||||
Boo: |
Squeak! | |||||
Giant Boo Costume Minsc: |
Well of course I will keep the costume on. It's very comfortable! | |||||
| 30 | Defeat the Scary Nesting Doll | Among the actors and vermin, a stack of creepy nesting dolls comes clattering out! Send them back to the toy box! | ||||
Undead Celeste: |
The brigganocks and korreds are here. They're getting ready. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
FINALLY. Get them in their costumes. Do they know their blocking? | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
Blooshi, I think you need to calm down a bit. This is all a ruse to get past our enemies. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Oh pondscum! Do we have enough enemies for the big battle scene? Can Baeloth make extras? | |||||
![]() Stagefright: |
Oh, you need extras to play enemies? I'll send in some darklings. They always add some atmosphere. But hey, you're up next! Get out there and break a leg! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
All right, we need to get the set up, introduce the play, and get on our marks. Any questions? | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
Aye, what's a mark? | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Where you're supposed to stand. Just...help me get these trees in place. | |||||
![]() Darkling: |
Boss says you need extras. Where do you want us? | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
I don't know! I don't have time for that right now! | |||||
![]() Darkling: |
No worries, no worries. We'll just improvise. Ahem: If we are mark'd to die, we are enough to do our country loss! And if to live, the fewer men, the greater share of honour! Whee! Let's start stabbin'! | |||||
| 31 | Defeat 25 Enemies | The stage needs to be set -- but these rival actors are making trouble and the darklings don't know where to stand! Clear the stage and make it interesting! | ||||
| 32 | Defeat 25 Enemies | You've got lights! You've got actors! You've got entirely too many people crowding the stage! | ||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Um these darklings are AMAZING. | |||||
![]() Darkling: |
Oh! Woe! I have been staaaaaaaaaaaabed! Mount, mount, my soul! thy seat is up on high; whilst my gross flesh sinks downward, here to die. BLAAAAARGGHHHH! *cough* *cough* | |||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
You think they're overselling it? | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
No. Such. Thing. | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
I'm not about to be outshone by some extras. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Your whole character is 'tall.' They can't beat you at 'tall'! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Okay that's the set in place, except the gravestones. | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
That's it? Where's the sizzle? Where's the panache? | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
It's a TRAGIC cemetery. It's not supposed to sizzle! | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
No one's going to believe you fell in love in this drab boring place -- even a zombie would want to get out of here. I'll fix it up! A few pink elephants! | |||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
GAH! No! No, no, no! Put up the gravestones yourself, I'm not doing this. | |||||
| 33 | Collect 25 Painted Gravestones | This cemetery is the most important set! Get those painted gravestones back and set them up! | ||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
NO. PINK. ELEPHANTS. | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
All right, all right! Everyone's a critic. That's not the end of my repertoire anyway. | |||||
| 34 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Baeloth's going off script! Get those red pandas out of here! | ||||
![]() Endelyn: |
Well, you can't say this is boring. Confusing as an underwater train wreck. But not boring. | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
I think that's Endelyn Moongrave up there watching! We need to start the play! | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
Say no more! Direct from Baeloth Barrityl's Illusory Black Pits Experience, it's the King of Feathers! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
NO NO NO NO! | |||||
| 35 | Defeat the Baeloth's King of Feathers | A tyrannosaurus wasn't in the script! Baeloth's illusions are out of control! | ||||
Undead Celeste: |
Baeloth, we're doing a tragedy not a spectacle. Quit it with the red pandas and dinosaurs! | |||||
![]() Darkling: |
O I am slain! Et tu, King of Feathers! BLARRRGH! | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
See? That's how you make a tragic spectacle. I don't know why I have to tell you this. | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
Keep your illusions to the script. We need some undead. | |||||
Giant Boo Costume Minsc: |
Welcome to our performance of 'Love Unsoiled' which is a play that I guess is about a frog girl that is in love with...whatever Avren is. But it's sad. And there's not going to be enough fighting evil for my tastes. | |||||
Boo: |
Squeak! | |||||
Giant Boo Costume Minsc: |
Oh right. Our story opens in the cemetery outside...some village I forgot the name of. And there's a girl there. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Oh! Woe is me! I have been so long searching for my one true love! But none in my poor provincial town knows my true heart. | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Well met, lonely maiden. Do I...dazzle you? | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Uhhhh, I think you mean 'urgh grrr' tall, undead stranger. But oh my! Your undead hordes are attacking! | |||||
| 36 | Defeat 25 Enemies | The curtain rises, the play begins! Make a good show of fighting Baeloth's undead illusions! | ||||
Zombie Avren: |
I can tell you're not like other girls. Well, I'm not like other zombies. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Oookay. Well. Hear my soul speak! For the very instant I saw you I knew you were my one true love! And also that I want to be a necromancer. | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
You're intoxicated by my very presence. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
I...think we are working off different scripts, Handsome Zombie. But I know my heart! I will defy my father and wed only you, my undead darling! | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Excellent. Then we can discuss the pacts. | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
Ho, me daughter where have ye been? What is...What is...Ye got dirt on yer breeches lass, what's that about? | |||||
Yorven: |
Psst! 'Redolent of the grave!' | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
And ye stink like a corpse! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Father! You and...your crew of pirates can never dissuade me from my romance. Even if -- ooh, idea happening -- one of your crew was already madly in love with me? | |||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
NOPE. | |||||
Pirate Havilar: |
I'm just here to hold the harpoon. | |||||
| 37 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Plot twist! Distract the audience while you come up with a solution! | ||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
Do I have to do everything myself? Hang on. One love triangle coming up. | |||||
Dashing Werewolf: |
Well met, beautiful maiden. Who's this undead clown? | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Excuse me, what? When did we get a love triangle? And why does he get to be so dashing? | |||||
Yorven: |
I'd like to point out I can literally transform into a vicious bestial monster if you needed a werewolf. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Well we can't change it now! | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
Is this where I should come in? | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Are you going to get rid of that werewolf? | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
Urgh, argh, grrrr, my only son! The handsomest zombie! You cannot wed a living woman! -- I'm not saying 'girl' Blooshi, if you're old enough to get married, you're an adult. But really, you two should get to know each other. It's not wise to make a commitment on the fluttery new relationship feelings. If you -- | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
LET THESE SKULLS SIGNIFY MY LOVE! And also my dedication to necromancy, which is an important plot thread I'd like us all to remember. | |||||
| 38 | Collect 25 Skulls | The skulls of love -- and necromancy! -- roll across the stage! Gather them back up before someone trips! | ||||
Dashing Werewolf: |
Fair maiden, I have stacked your skulls of love and necromancy in this fetching tower, replicas of which will be available at all Black Pits franchise merchandise vendors. Ask for the Prismeer discount! | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
Baeloth! Stop it! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Oh! Woe is me! I have spent so long searching for my one true love, only to suddenly be faced with two very attractive...if hairy and kind of annoying options! What shall I do? | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
You really should stay away from me. I'm dangerous. And addictive. | |||||
Dashing Werewolf: |
Addictive as value seats at the Black Pits! Great deals and you're right in the splash zone! You...beautiful maiden, you. | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Enough of this! You can't have her! Vampires, attack! | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
Oh that's how it is? Fine! Extra werewolves! | |||||
| 39 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Werewolves versus vampires! That's not overdone, right? | ||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
On the one hand, having two handsome monstrous men fighting over me is very flattering. On the other, I feel like what's getting lost in this is that I'm a person! One with hopes and dreams and choices. And also that I should be the powerful necromancer controlling you both. | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
How does a necromancer control a werewolf? | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
It's THEATER, Baeloth. Use your imagination! | |||||
Dashing Werewolf: |
All right Sparkle Boy. This is between me and you now. | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Oh. Are we...is this a romance pivot? | |||||
Dashing Werewolf: |
...I wasn't going for that, but... | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
No, no, you're probably right. It's supposed to be tragic, so the more death the better. | |||||
Dashing Werewolf: |
Okay but maybe when the werewolf dies...no wait wait I've got it, I've got it. Let's do this. | |||||
| 40 | Defeat the Dashing Werewolf | The dashing werewolf's time has come! Make this fight dramatic and narratively impactful! | ||||
Dashing Werewolf: |
O I am slain! And just when I realized...I was in love with both of you! And I'd just bought box seats to the Black Pits we could have shared, but they're in my name, and there are no refunds! How tragic! *cough* *cough* I'm dead! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
He's dead! Oh my heart! | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Bravo, Baeloth. I mean, come away with me fair maiden! We will flee this place, our judgmental neighbors and fearful parents, and start a new life! Er, un-life! Nothing can go wrong with that! | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
I mean...I can think of a few things. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Shush, Judgmental Mother Zombie! I will go with you my love! | |||||
Yorven: |
The stage change is complete and the korreds are ready. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Thank you! I'm starting to think you're the only one taking this seriously. Ahem, O I promise I will be quick my undead darling! I need only the merest trappings of my life before you to bring with us on our flight from here. | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
You are my life now. I mean unlife. | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
Once again, I am home from me...I'm back from piratin' and so's me crew. Arrrgh! Daughter what are ye doin'? Who is this tall stranger? And does he have some dinner fer me? | |||||
Pirate Havilar: |
Yeah, Avren, who are you? | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
I'm...dangerous. And addictive. Did I say that already? Anyway, minions! Defend me! | |||||
| 41 | Defeat 25 Enemies | The angry father has arrived and more vampire spawn attack to protect our doomed couple! Make it look good! | ||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
No daughter o' mine is gonna run off with a good fer nothin' zombie! This relationship is a dead end! Get it? | |||||
Pirate Jarlaxle: |
Yeah, we're not supposed to do jokes. | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
Not even a pun? What kind o' play is this? | |||||
Pirate Havilar: |
A trashy-dy? I think? | |||||
![]() Prismeer Nayeli: |
Ho! I come from the lord's castle! He has heard there is a monstrosity roaming this country and the villagers are in revolt!...I said the villagers are in revolt! Korreds! Let's go! | |||||
| 42 | Defeat 25 Enemies | The korreds arrive to do their parts as angry villagers clashing with the zombie and his friends! Help them out! | ||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
Now ye gone and done it, zombie! Fer that, I'm gonna slap ye with a fish! Quick, Baeloth, gimme a salmon! A FUNNY salmon! | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
If one's good, two dozen is better! | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
Take that, ye durn zombie! Ye'll never win me daughter! | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Ouch! Oh broken planes, how does it smell so bad? | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
Rotting salmon is funnier, nine times out of ten. | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
Get the rotting salmon off stage before we make Endelyn mad! This is getting out of control! | |||||
| 43 | Collect 25 Rotting Salmon | There's rotting salmon all over the stage! And what a stink! Clean it up before Endelyn kicks you out! | ||||
Undead Celeste: |
All right! This has gone far enough. You are both too young to be making these kinds of decisions. You should sit down with your parents, your friends, maybe a trusted religious leader and discuss whether it is worth throwing away everything you know and love for a romance that's only twenty minutes old! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Um, also the necromantic power of a zombie horde. | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
That doesn't make it better! You need to have a little common sense! ...um...grrrr, arrrgh, grrr...brains. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Anyway. NOOOOOO! The lord of the manor is enraged by our love! What shall we do! | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
I was mostly prepared to smolder so...I guess I could try that at the angry villagers? | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
[sigh] I'm beginning to think I need to see other zombies. | |||||
| 44 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Our lovers can never truly be free of their society's expectations! Battle the angry villagers! | ||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
All right the korreds and the brigganocks are doing their best, but this is not cutting it. | |||||
Nat: |
[signs] Needs more crocodiles. | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
You are a brilliant child and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise, one crocodile coming up! | |||||
| 45 | Defeat the Bullywug Riding a Crocodile | A crocodile does add a certain something to the peril! Defeat that bullywug riding a crocodile! | ||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
O my love! We must flee! Up the path to the cliffs! It's the only way! | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Do we have a hot air balloon up there or some kind of flying beast? I just don't know that I believe in my character plummeting to his doom. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Avren, it's a tragedy. Stop it. | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
Urrrrgh, arrgh, my son! Make better choices! I still love you though! Grrrrr! | |||||
Pirate Bruenor: |
Baeloth! Baeloth! We need some cream pies fer this part! | |||||
Nat: |
[signs] Wow, the cliffs look great. Very believable. | |||||
![]() Star: |
[indicates] You did good work, Yorven! | |||||
Yorven: |
Thank you. I still think something's missing. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Come my love! We can only flee the hordes! Unless I suddenly develop some amazing powers to control my slain enemies? Do we have those extras still? No? | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
What happened to 'it's a tragedy, stop trying to make it about you'? | |||||
![]() Prismeer Nayeli: |
You have interrupted the wedding of the lord of the manor! This picturesque cliff face has been reserved! So you must die! | |||||
| 46 | Defeat 25 Enemies | The guests press the doomed couple to the cliff's edge! The drama increases! | ||||
![]() Endelyn: |
I almost like it. But it's definitely too upbeat. Needs more ironic pain. | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
People! We're losing her! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Here we are on this high cliff, with only the cold ocean beneath us! These wedding guests, symbols of love and also entitlement, want to force us over it! And...I'm honestly having second thoughts here. Maybe your mother was right. | |||||
![]() Endelyn: |
Ooh interesting. That's gotta hurt. | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
My mother was...Are you serious right now? We're about to be pushed into the sea by a horde of bullywug soldiers and you want to tell me my mother was RIGHT. | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
That's right, audience. You should listen to your parents. They might have something important to say that will save you a lot of agony. Grrrrr, arrrgh. | |||||
| 47 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Get this play back on track! Fight those angry wedding guests! It's a symbol! Maybe? | ||||
![]() Prismeer Nayeli: |
Your fate is sealed! The lord of the manor approaches and he will cast his judgment upon you! With...Baeloth, why are we doing satyrs? | |||||
![]() Star: |
[indicates] Problem! Problem! Problem! | |||||
Yorven: |
What's wrong? The fact that this isn't a tragedy? The fact that Baeloth keeps improvising? Or that Avren is playing the zombie as an action hero? | |||||
![]() Star: |
[indicates] I know what you forgot. Missing big-man. | |||||
Nat: |
[signs] Oh no. Nobody is playing the lord of the manor! They don't have the final villain set up! We have to do something. | |||||
Yorven: |
So. My time has come after all. Stay here children. | |||||
| 48 | Collect 25 Satyr Weapons | Stall for time! You still need a Lord of the Manor! Drag out that fight with the satyrs! | ||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
We can go no further...I...Oh pondscum, Lord of the Manor. How did I forget that? | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Can we not just fly in this play? That doesn't seem like it would be that hard. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
You don't just get to be cool because you want to be cool. Why are you even a sparkly zombie? That's not a thing! | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
Bruenor threw glitter on me. He said 'Gotcha' so I assumed it was part of the show? | |||||
Undead Celeste: |
Children, this is why we plan ahead when we have important undertakings. Selûne says all things in their due course, but let's not flout good sense. | |||||
| 49 | Defeat 25 Enemies | Everything's coming to pieces! Where's Yorven? Keep fighting and hope Endelyn doesn't notice it's all going wrong! | ||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
I guess I jump off the cliff? Ugh. | |||||
Thespian Yorven: |
Not so fast, fair maiden! You thought you could escape my justice! | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
And add a lightning bolt for emphasis! Boom! | |||||
Thespian Yorven: |
It is I, the lord of the manor! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
...Oh. Not the lord of the manor! He'll punish us for defying his cruel no necromancy laws and interrupting his wedding! I guess? Are you getting married? | |||||
Thespian Yorven: |
Did your father never tell you, fair maiden? You were CURSED! To only marry me! This is YOUR wedding, and the gift I demand is the slaughter of your zombie love! | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
All right, this is definitely not in the script. | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
Quiet, you! Oh beneficent lord! Show mercy! For I am but a fair maiden and also a budding necromancer -- hey, actually, maybe instead of getting married, you could hire me to be like your protegé? Or official skullmistress and vampire wrangler? I'm really good. | |||||
Thespian Yorven: |
Never! For you have also been cursed to never be able to practice necromancy! For some reason! But you really want to so...you can't! I want no happiness in my lands, so I shall slay your beloved and trap you in my castle where you can...do something very boring, um... | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
No! Not...cataloguing your collection of...interesting looking napkins! Anything but that! I'd rather die! | |||||
Thespian Yorven: |
THAT CAN BE ARRANGED! | |||||
Thespian Blooshi: |
I shall bring you down with me! | |||||
| 50 | Defeat the Thespian Yorven | The climactic battle between the fair maiden and the lord of the manor needs some extra action! Fight Yorven in his costumed best! | ||||
Giant Boo Costume Minsc: |
And so, I guess, the frog girl and the murder-bunny died of falling off a cliff in a dramatic storm. That was wild. I can't believe that happened. | |||||
Pirate Baeloth: |
Also the wedding guests all came down with the plague from either satyr-fleas or zombie-contagion and everybody died! Except the handsome zombie who was doomed to be alone. | |||||
Zombie Avren: |
It's fine, I've got my own thing going on. | |||||
Boo: |
Squeak! | |||||
Giant Boo Costume Minsc: |
That's right. The end. It's over. Everyone can clap now. | |||||
![]() Endelyn: |
Well. That was certainly a tragedy, in multiple senses of the word. Come closer, you troupe of weirdos. Let's see what we can do to help each other. | |||||
| Previous: The Minions of Endelyn Moongrave | Next: The Bitter End | |||||
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