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Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms Wiki
Witchlight Campaign
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Love Unsoiled is one of the adventures in the campaign: The Wild Beyond the Witchlight.

Icon Love Unsoiled Gain Endelyn's allegiance by performing the epic tragedy: Love Unsoiled!
Requirement(s)
Requirements sign
Must have completed "The Minions of Endelyn Moongrave"
Objective(s) Objectives sign Complete Area 800
Restriction(s)
Restriction sign
No restrictions
Rewards(?) Icon Gems ×1600 Corellon's Favor ×??? Formation Formation Witchlight

Variants[]

The Play's the Thing![]

Icon The Play's the Thing! Gain Endelyn's allegiance with your best actors.
Requirement(s)
Requirements sign
Must have completed "Love Unsoiled"
Objective(s) Objectives sign Complete Area 850
Restriction(s)
Restriction sign
You may only use Champions with a Charisma of 17 or higher.
Restriction sign
The damage of all Champions is increased by 100% for each Champion in the formation with a custom costume, stacking additively.
Rewards(?) Icon Gems ×1700 Corellon's Favor ×??? Formation Formation Witchlight
Patron: Mirt Objectives sign Complete Area 950 Mirt Influence ×3.64e09 Ruby Coin ×2.22e05
Patron: Vajra Objectives sign Complete Area 975 Vajra Influence ×5.75e09 Symbol of Vajra ×2.72e05
Patron: Strahd Objectives sign Complete Area 1000 Strahd Influence ×9.09e09 Barovian Coin ×3.00e04
Patron: Zariel Objectives sign Complete Area 1025 Zariel Influence ×1.44e10 Symbol of Zariel ×4.07e05
Patron: Elminster Objectives sign Complete Area 1150 Elminster Influence ×1.42e11 Icon Sigil of Elminster ×1.12e06

All The World's A Stage[]

File:Icon All The World's A Stage.png Gain Endelyn's allegiance with the bardiest bards that ever barded!
Requirement(s)
Requirements sign
Must have completed "Love Unsoiled"
Requirements sign
Must have completed 41 Witchlight adventures or variants.
Objective(s) Objectives sign Complete Area 900
Restriction(s)
Restriction sign
You may only use Bard Champions.
Restriction sign
All dialogs start with a random interjection.
Rewards(?) Icon Gems ×1800 Corellon's Favor ×??? Formation Formation Witchlight
Patron: Mirt Objectives sign Complete Area 1000 Mirt Influence ×9.09e09 Ruby Coin ×3.00e04
Patron: Vajra Objectives sign Complete Area 1025 Vajra Influence ×1.44e10 Symbol of Vajra ×4.07e05
Patron: Strahd Objectives sign Complete Area 1050 Strahd Influence ×2.27e10 Barovian Coin ×4.99e05
Patron: Zariel Objectives sign Complete Area 1075 Zariel Influence ×3.60e10 Symbol of Zariel ×6.11e05
Patron: Elminster Objectives sign Complete Area 1200 Elminster Influence ×3.55e11 Icon Sigil of Elminster ×1.68e06

Waves[]

Type Waves Bosses Favored By
armor-based 0 1 Binwin, Ezmerelda, Gazrick, Grimm, Hew Maan[WL 1], Lucius, Selise[WL 2], Windfall[WL 3], Wulfgar
beast 20 4 Imoen[WL 4], Jaheira[WL 4], Minsc[WL 4], Zorbu
bullywug 4 1
construct 4 2 Kalix[WL 5], Wyll[WL 6]
demon 0 1
fey 9 0 Minsc[WL 4]
fiend 0 1 Brother Uriah[WL 7], Ezmerelda[WL 8], Farideh[WL 9], Havilar[WL 10], Jaheira[WL 4], Reya, Turiel, Wyll
goblin 5 1
goblinoid 5 1
hit-based 0 2 Binwin, Ezmerelda, Grimm, Hew Maan[WL 1], Windfall[WL 3]
human 4 0 Dynaheir, Ezmerelda[WL 11], Jaheira[WL 4], Kalix, Minsc[WL 4], Zorbu
humanoid 15 4 Dynaheir, Ezmerelda[WL 11], Jaheira[WL 4], Kalix, Minsc[WL 4], Zorbu
lycanthrope 2 1
melee 50 9
plant 4 0
ranged 5 1
static 0 1
undead 9 0 Brother Uriah[WL 7], Ezmerelda, Jaheira[WL 4], Minsc[WL 4], Nerys, Volo[WL 12], Wyll[WL 13], Zorbu

Please add all the missing waves definition (with "0 & 0" or no values in case you don’t know them…) based on in-game’s "ENEMY TYPES" data mentionned on adventure’s starting/choice screen, place them between the header & the footer lines (which should remain untouched), and keep the monster-type lines sorted alphabetically. Thanks! (click this link for more info)

  1. 1.0 1.1 Only valid for Kleeb - [Middle Columns] - and only working against boss enemies if they have hits-based or armor-based health.
  2. Only valid with Selise’s Aggressive stance.
  3. 3.0 3.1 Only valid with Windfall’s Black Dragon's Corrosion specialization.
  4. 4.00 4.01 4.02 4.03 4.04 4.05 4.06 4.07 4.08 4.09 4.10 Only one type of monsters for a given Champion depending on the chosen specialization.
  5. Only valid with Kalix’s Hunt the Bound Feat.
  6. Only valid with Wyll’s The Heartless Feat.
  7. 7.0 7.1 Only valid with Brother Uriah’s Book of Exalted Deeds specialization.
  8. Only valid with Ezmerelda’s Guide to Fiends Feat.
  9. Only valid with Farideh’s Pact with Lorcan specialization, and all boss enemies also count as demonic Fiends for the purposes of all abilities that care about such things.
  10. See details about Havilar’s special mechanics.
  11. 11.0 11.1 Only valid with Ezmerelda’s Guide to Humanoids Feat.
  12. Only valid with Volo’s Volo's Guide to Spirits and Specters specialization.
  13. Only valid with Wyll’s The Soulless Feat.
Wave Tags Monsters Monster Tags Image
1 underground Bat beast melee Monster Beast GiantCentipede
2 underground Bat beast melee
3 underground Bat, Giant Caterpillar beast melee
4 underground Giant Caterpillar beast melee
5 underground Giant Caterpillar beast melee
Boss underground Giant Centipede beast boss melee
6 underground Giant Rat beast melee Monster Beast SkullFaceSpider
7 underground Giant Rat, Spider Hatchlings beast melee
8 underground Spider Hatchlings beast melee
9 underground Spider Hatchlings beast melee
10 underground Spider Hatchlings beast melee
Boss underground Skull-Face Spider beast boss melee
11 Shadow undead melee Monster Fiend ShadowDemon
12 Wigged Giant Rat beast melee
13 Wigged Giant Rat beast melee
14 Shadow, Wigged Giant Rat beast undead melee
15 Shadow undead melee
Boss Shadow Demon boss demon fiend melee
16 Goblin goblin goblinoid humanoid melee
17 Batiri Goblin goblin goblinoid humanoid melee
18 Batiri Goblin goblin goblinoid humanoid melee
19 Batiri Goblin, Goblin goblin goblinoid humanoid melee
20 Goblin goblin goblinoid humanoid melee ranged
Boss Goblin Gardener boss goblin goblinoid humanoid melee
21 Awakened Toadstool plant melee Monster Construct AnimatedArmorSunsword
22 Awakened Shrub, Awakened Toadstool plant melee
23 Awakened Toadstool plant melee
24 Awakened Object, Awakened Shrub construct plant melee
25 Awakened Object construct melee
Boss Awakened Armor boss construct melee
26 Wigged Giant Rat beast melee
27 Wigged Giant Rat beast melee
28 Motherhorn Thespian, Wigged Giant Rat 'beast humanoid 'melee
29 Awakened Object, Wigged Giant Rat beast construct melee
30 Awakened Object, Motherhorn Thespian construct humanoid melee
Boss Scary Nesting Doll, Middle Scary Nesting Doll, Final Scary Nesting Doll boss construct hit-based melee
31 outdoors Darkling, Motherhorn Thespian fey humanoid melee Monster Beast KingOfFeathers
32 outdoors Darkling, Motherhorn Thespian fey humanoid melee
33 outdoors Darkling, Pink Elephant beast fey melee
34 outdoors Illusory Fancy Red Panda beast melee
35 outdoors Illusory Fancy Red Panda beast melee
Boss outdoors Baeloth's King of Feathers beast boss hit-based static ranged
36 outdoors Crawling Claw, Vampire Spawn undead melee Monster Humanoid WerewolfDashing
37 outdoors Vampire Spawn, Zombie Villager undead melee
38 outdoors Skeleton, Skeleton Archer undead melee ranged
39 outdoors Vampire Spawn, Werewolf humanoid lycanthrope undead melee
40 outdoors Vampire Spawn, Werewolf humanoid lycanthrope undead melee
Boss outdoors Dashing Werewolf boss humanoid lycanthrope melee
41 outdoors Vampire Spawn undead melee
42 outdoors Bullywug Korred bullywug fey melee
43 outdoors Bullywug Korred bullywug fey melee
44 outdoors Bullywug Brigganock, Bullywug Korred bullywug fey melee
45 outdoors Bullywug Brigganock, Bullywug Korred bullywug fey melee
Boss outdoors Bullywug Riding a Crocodile beast boss bullywug humanoid melee
46 outdoors Wedding Guest human humanoid melee ranged
47 outdoors Wedding Guest human humanoid melee ranged
48 outdoors Satyr fey melee
49 outdoors Satyr, Wedding Guest fey human humanoid melee
50 outdoors Wedding Guest human humanoid melee ranged
Boss outdoors Thespian Yorven armor-based boss humanoid melee

Transcript[]

Icon Love Unsoiled Love Unsoiled
Gain Endelyn's allegiance by performing the epic tragedy: Love Unsoiled!
Area Goal Quests & Cinematics
Witchlight Portrait Obud
Obud:
Well, Champions, now that you've united us against our true enemy, Endelyn Moongrave, we're happy to help you get into her fortress of Motherhorn.
Witchlight Portrait QueenArgantle
Queen Argantle:
In through the secret tunnel, and then wreck up all her wicked plans!
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
Thank you both. I'm glad we were able to help you sort out your differences. We'll stop Endelyn and free Prismeer from the Hourglass Coven's rule.
Icon Portrait Nat
Nat:
[signs] And find out where the hags have hidden Squiddly and Jenks!
Witchlight Portrait Gleam
Gleam:
And free my sister!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
And deal with these bats!
1 Defeat 25 Enemies Time to make for Motherhorn! But first, clear out these bats!
Witchlight Portrait Obud
Obud:
The tunnel to Motherhorn is this way. The brigganocks stand ready to help you.
Witchlight Portrait QueenArgantle
Queen Argantle:
The korreds too. It's the least we can do. Just call if you need us.
Icon Bruenor
Bruenor:
Thank ye again!
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
If our plan involves hordes of little creatures swarming out of the tunnel, I think we need to discuss that sooner rather than later.
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
That sounds like you have a plan.
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
Look we did the 'small fighters go in swinging' plan last time, and we did get the kids out of Loomlurch. But we don't know our way around Motherhorn. If we're going to rescue Glister and find out where Squiddly and Jenks might have gone, we have to be sneakier. We should try and get on Endelyn's good side. Go undercover.
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
How do you expect we will manage that? The hag is relentless, observant -- she studies the future in her orrery and delights in tragedy.
Witchlight Portrait Gleam
Gleam:
She does like the theater. There should be lots of disguises around.
Icon Nayeli
Nayeli:
Is this one going to turn into you trying to become best friends with the hag again?
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
Please, I'm extremely discerning. Let's get through this tunnel and we'll discuss specifics.
2 Defeat 25 Enemies More bats fill the secret tunnel to Motherhorn, but they're no trouble for you!
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
It should be a simple enough thing to disguise ourselves as actors. Pretend we're putting on a play and find out how to get to Glister -- and how to stop Endelyn.
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
I might be forced to agree here. We've gotten in over our heads both times we've gone up against a hag. It might be wisest to do some scouting around.
Icon Bruenor
Bruenor:
Aye, and if we can get some o' her other actors talkin' we might find out nuff ta make tha job quick!
Icon Nayeli
Nayeli:
Well...if we're doing this, we should be sure we're observing Prismeer's rule of reciprocity. We should have something to offer when we're asking for help. Let's gather up some of these gems to offer.
3 Collect 25 Gems The rule of reciprocity means be ready to barter! Gather some gems to make a good deal.
4 Defeat 25 Enemies The caves tremble with the many feet of giant caterpillars! Oh no! Swat those pests!
5 Defeat the Giant Centipede Another giant centipede? Don't let its powerful jaws crush you!
Icon Portrait Nat
Nat:
[signs] Look! A door! That must be the way into Motherhorn.
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
Remember, if anyone asks, you're all actors.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
This is going to be FUN.
Icon Minsc
Minsc:
We are not actually being actors, right? Memorization and standing up on stage without being able to use my real sword--this is basically my nightmare.
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
All you need do is seem gloomy and standoffish. That will make you suitable in the eyes of 'the Bitter End' and so everyone else will believe it.
Icon Minsc
Minsc:
Hm. All right. I will be more like you, Yorven! Thank you for the pep talk!
6 Defeat 25 Enemies You've made it into Motherhorn. Now to sneak up to the main floor -- but don't let those rats give you away!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Whoa, what's all this junk?
Witchlight Portrait Gleam
Gleam:
The remains of Endelyn's plays. That's old scenery. These are props. That's a marionette.
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
Excuse me? Could you lend me a hand here? I seem to have gotten, uh, hung up.
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
Oh my stars! Here, hold still!
Icon Bruenor
Bruenor:
Spiders! Spiders and rats! Look out!
7 Defeat 25 Enemies This basement is full of discarded props and scripts...and rats and spiders! Clear these vermin out!
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
Oh thank you! I've been stuck dangling since Endelyn threw me down here. No use for a living marionette that didn't get the cruel streak she was aiming for.
Icon Bruenor
Bruenor:
Ye're nae a fan of tha hag then?
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
Not even a little. Oh! Oh, are you adventurers? Are you planning to defeat her? That's grand! You helped me get down from that corner, let me help you make a plan to defeat Bitter End.
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
We have a plan thanks. We're actors. We're at Motherhorn to perform. We're scoping out the theater.
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
I see...Do you have a play?
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
Yeah, we're not doing that. We don't need to be actual actors.
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
Yeah...You're going to need a play. Endelyn doesn't just let random thespians wander around Motherhorn unaccompanied. You're going to need to put on a show if you want to 'scope out the theater' as you put it. And you're going to have to SELL IT.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
What does THAT mean?
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
It means you need a play. And costumes. And props. And a set. You need to come in like you've got everything to prove and then PROVE IT.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
...I'm ready.
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
Then grab some set decorations. You need to put on a show!
8 Collect 25 Stage Decorations To keep up your disguise, you'll have to put on a show! Gather up some of these decorations for your play!
9 Defeat 25 Enemies Spider hatchlings swarm all over the basement! Keep them away!
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
That's a good start, but you're still going to need a play to perform.
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
I think we can whip something up. I used to perform in the Shieldmeet pageants at the Temple of Selûne back home. We can do something very edifying!
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
'Edifying' isn't really Endelyn's style.
Icon Bruenor
Bruenor:
Maybe a comedy? A good raucous skit o' silliness always gets tha dwarves howlin'!
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
Mmm, guess again. Drow, do you have an idea?
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
Well, I'm going out on a limb and assuming it's not spider-themed, so let's take care of this beast.
10 Defeat the Skull-Face Spider Oh no! Momma's home! Fight that skull-face spider!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Ooh! Ooh! Does she like romance?
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
Have you people ever met a hag before? What she likes is tragedies. The crueler the better. Get yourself a real tearjerker she can cackle over, and you'll be in her good graces in no time. That door leads to the workshop. You should be able to find costumes -- maybe even a play.
Witchlight Portrait Gleam
Gleam:
Dottie and I will stay back here until you find the way to Glister. It's better if we don't catch Endelyn's attention.
Witchlight Portrait BreakALeg
Break-a-Leg:
Glister? Glister...ah, yes, you're the Selenion Twins! I remember now. Boy, Creeping Lyn never met an eclipse she didn't hate, even if it wasn't exactly the real thing. I hope you get your sister out and she panics like your moon and Glister's sun are the real deal.
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
[sigh] Everything on this plane is ridiculous.
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
You! Goblins! Where is my fan? My character conveys her disdain through the gestures of her fan.
Icon Portrait GoblinGuard
Goblin:
It's being repaired, Lady Skylla --
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
I TOLD YOU, MY NAME IS CHARMAY.
Icon Portrait GoblinGuard
Goblin:
Right! Right! Sorry! Sorry, Lady Charmay. It's being repaired, after you broke it over the head of a stagehand. Give us just another hour and --
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
Honestly, I can't work under these conditions! Props not ready! Goblins being rude! Detached shadows running amok! Go back to Endelyn, you miscreants! You can't have my autograph!
Icon Minsc
Minsc:
Shadows! I know what to do with these!
11 Defeat 25 Enemies These shadows were made by Endelyn Moongrave, just like Gleam's was! Don't let them steal your things!
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
Who ARE you people? Fans? Reporters?
Icon Minsc
Minsc:
Heroes!
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
I've got this. We're actors! We've just arrived at Motherhorn to put on our new play.
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
And you're looking for a leading lady?
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
...We are always sourcing new talent. Yorven and Blooshi here just joined the, er, troupe. What do you bring to the party?
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
I'm sorry, are you not LOOKING at me right now? I bring THIS to the party.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
We should think about recruiting her. She sounds very confident.
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
Yeah, that's not the word I'd use...
Icon Bruenor
Bruenor:
But she is experienced! We oughta ask her about Endelyn. See if she secretly likes slapstick.
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
I've got this. Ah, Lady Charmay, clearly you are so much more talented than our pitiful ensemble. We could only hope to one day mount a production worthy of your skills as a thespian. After all, who HASN'T heard of the great Charmay?
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
Oh? You've heard of me?
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
You're very big in Downfall. And look! Even the rats wish they were you. They've...made tiny wigs to look like your hair!
12 Defeat 25 Enemies Even the rats in this place are dressed up! Step it up!
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
Thank you for dealing with those rats. I have an image to maintain.
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
Of course, of course. But looking ahead, to that...glorious future we can one day hope to achieve where we can do a star of your caliber justice...how would you say is the best way to impress Endelyn Moongrave?
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
Give up? She's a very demanding audience.
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
Oh we're not the giving up sort. We've been told she likes tragedies? The bleaker the better?
Icon Bruenor
Bruenor:
Has anyone TRIED just like throwin' a pie? Fer a lark?
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
Or moral instruction? Have you tested moral instruction?
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
Well, if you're determined, then my best advice is to use what's available. Playwrights are always sending their work to Motherhorn to be considered. There are scripts all over here.
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
'The Lich King's Revel.' A lich king cannot decide which of his living sons should inherit his kingdom, so he throws a ball.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Ooh, is there like a princess that comes to the ball and gets chosen by one of the princes and they like rule the kingdom as dual evil overlords?
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
No. It looks like it ends with the lich king grafting all three sons into a single flesh golem and giving that the throne.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Whoa. Bleak.
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
I told you. You have a lot to do. And Motherhorn won't make it easy! Creeping Lyn's shadows get feisty and the rats don't like sharing the stage. Meanwhile, you've got costumes to acquire, lines to learn, props to manage and a set to build!
13 Collect 25 Paintbrushes You need a good set to pull off this play! Snatch those paintbrushes up and get to work!
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
This is a good play. A young warrior is cast out into the darkness of the planes and must fight his way back to the kingdom that was stolen--
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
BORING.
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
You didn't even let me finish!
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
It doesn't sound very tragic. I mean, clearly the warrior will return and defeat the evil ones who cast him out, righting wrongs and saving the innocent, while still struggling with his wounds.
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
Well...not necessarily.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Face it Yorven: you have a TYPE. Dramatic and gloomy, but heroic. Just help with the settings. Those should be easy enough to keep gloomy.
14 Defeat 25 Enemies There's so much to do if you're going to manage to put together a show in time! Keep your cool and fight those rats and shadows!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Oohhhh! Hey! Hey! Hey! I found it. I found the PERFECT play! It's called 'Love Unsoiled,' and it's about a fair maiden who falls in love with a handsome zombie but her family...and maybe his family! Won't let them be together!
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
I mean that seems like a very reasonable position for them to take, all things considered.
Icon Bruenor
Bruenor:
It sounds HILARIOUS! Droppin' arms! Undead puns!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
It's romantic AND tragic...although I think it would be better if the maiden got with the handsome zombie and also got hordes of undead to do her bidding...But we can figure it out while we rehearse?
Icon Minsc
Minsc:
I will rehearse smashing this shadow demon!
15 Defeat the Shadow Demon Endelyn's shadow demon has escaped its confines! Send it scurrying back into the light!
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
Well. You have the fight choreography down. Has anyone ever told you you'd make decent adventurers?
Icon Jarlaxle
Jarlaxle:
Yeah, I think we've heard that before.
Witchlight Portrait Charmay
Charmay:
Well, it sounds like you've got your play. Don't mess it up with the casting!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Casting seems like the easy part. I should obviously be the maiden. I am meant to rule a horde of zombies.
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
That's not in the play.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Well it's like what my character would DO. Anyway, we need a handsome zombie, an angry father, an angry mother, and...we'll figure out the rest. Celeste, you should be the angry mother.
Icon Portrait Nat
Nat:
[signs] You would be good at that, Celeste.
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
Excuse me? I'm not angry. I'm just firm. And sometimes disappointed and -- Will you goblins get yourselves under control?
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
That's perfect!
16 Defeat 25 Enemies These goblins won't stop fighting! You'll have to stand strong!
Icon Celeste
Celeste:
Before you get too far into handing out roles, we should see what sorts of costumes we can get. We may have to adapt the play if there aren't enough of the right sorts of costumes.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
I guess that makes sense. Everyone look around and see what we can find.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
All right what have we got?
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
ARRRRR, ME DAUGHTER!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
What is that? What are you doing?
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
I thought I could play tha disapprovin' father. Who's a pirate.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Why is he a pirate?
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
There are a lot of pirate costumes here. We're going to want to work pirates into the story. And possibly goblin fighting -- what is WITH these goblins?
17 Defeat 25 Enemies The serious business of theater is being interrupted by raucous goblins! Knock them down! DRAMATICALLY!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
All right so we have two pirates --
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
Three! I figured I could provide illusions to liven up the sets, and why not join in the fun!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Okay well...then anyone who can be a pirate probably should be a pirate. A pirate crew. Celeste, did you find anything suitably maternal?
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
Not exactly.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
What?! Why are you a zombie? You're supposed to be MAD that I want to be with a zombie?
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
It's what I could find! And anyway, I think it adds some depth to the play if the, er, handsome zombie has someone concerned about him too! He should be warned about the perils of falling in with a charismatic overlord!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
She's a delicate maiden following her heart and her dreams! Oh, nevermind. We'll make it work.
Witchlight Portrait MotherhornThespian
Motherhorn Thespian:
Excuse me? Who took all the pirate costumes? We're planning a performance of 'An Island of Death in an Ocean of Tears', and we need all of them.
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
ARRRR! Surely there's nuff ta go 'round! There's piles o' them!
Witchlight Portrait MotherhornThespian
Motherhorn Thespian:
I don't think you understand how it works around here. We have room for ONE nautically themed play in this theater and my troupe is DOING it!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Pirates can be in non-nautical plays. We need these costumes.
Witchlight Portrait MotherhornThespian
Motherhorn Thespian:
Stage Goblins, I want those costumes. Get them!
18 Collect 25 Costumes Here are costumes you can use for your play! If only you can get them away from the goblins!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
You are not messing this up for me, tiefling!
Witchlight Portrait MotherhornThespian
Motherhorn Thespian:
Upstart! This isn't the last you'll see of us!
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
You've still got to figure out who the Handsome Zombie is. And I think there's a clear, if annoying, choice.
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Way ahead of you. Very dramatic. Good in spooky makeup. Very tall.
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
Is Murder-Bunny that tall?
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
Yorven? Ew. No. He'll take over every scene with his brooding and lightning bolts. I'm talking about Avren!
Icon Avren
Avren:
Sorry what?
19 Defeat 25 Enemies The stagehands in this place are very aggressive -- hit your marks and hit your targets!
Icon Blooshi
Blooshi:
You're the Handsome Zombie. Find a costume.
Icon Avren
Avren:
I have seen true evil from the depths of the Abyss to the spires of Avernus, but nothing has chilled my soul like community theatre.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Great. Channel that into the character. How do I look?
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
Umm, well...dramatic.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Like the embodiment of spring and also war and being super cool, right?
Icon Portrait GoblinGardener
Goblin Gardener:
Oy! What are you lot doing? That's not how 'Love Unsoiled' goes! Pirates and zombie mothers!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
It's an INTERPRETATION.
Icon Portrait GoblinGardener
Goblin Gardener:
Well it thwarts the playwright's vision of love as an inescapable tomb if there's an implication that you can avoid it by listening to your elders!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Um, okay. Whatever that means.
Icon Portrait GoblinGardener
Goblin Gardener:
It means respect the text or duel me!
20 Defeat the Goblin Gardener This goblin doesn't like what you're doing to the text! Defend your direction!
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
Let me get this straight: I'm from this blasted hellscape. I have steeped my soul in the darkness of the Shadowfell. You all complain CONSTANTLY about how dramatic I am --
Icon Nayeli
Nayeli:
Technically only Jarlaxle complains about it.
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
And my part in this is to be 'scenery painter'?
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Listen, not everyone is ready for an ACTUAL play, you know?
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
You were cast because you're tall!
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
So...try being taller next time?
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
All right, anything else we need to work in?
Icon Giant Boo Costume
Giant Boo Costume Minsc:
I found this. I will not be taking it off.
Icon NPC Boo
Boo:
Squeak!
Portrait Nayeli Prismeer
Prismeer Nayeli:
I found a bullywug guard costume
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Oooh, we should have a chorus of bullywugs! To be the villagers! Ooh! That's what we could use the brigganocks and korreds for! Extras! Can we find more of those helmets? Are -- Ew! This place is growing fungus!
21 Defeat 25 Enemies Awakened toadstools have sprouted all over the props storage! Watch out for their teeth!
22 Defeat 25 Enemies More awakened toadstools! It's almost as if Thither is bleeding through...
Portrait Nayeli Prismeer
Prismeer Nayeli:
Look! Those shelves have some bullywug head masks! Those will be perfect.
Icon Portrait GoblinGuard
Goblin:
Those are for 'Blightstraw's Fall' which...we're not doing right now, for obvious reasons, so if you want to use them, you just have to fight the toadstools!
23 Collect 25 Prop Heads If you're going to convince your audience that brigganocks and korreds are bullywugs, you'll need some artful props! Grab a village's worth of papier-mâché heads!
Portrait Nayeli Prismeer
Prismeer Nayeli:
Great! We just have to pass a message through Gleam and Dottie back to the brigganocks and korreds. Who wants to carry it?
24 Defeat 25 Enemies Not all those props are safe to handle! Fight back!
25 Defeat the Animated Armor That armor in the corner looks nice...until it attacks! Defeat the animated armor!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
All right! I think we have everything! Baeloth, make sure you create lots of lightning and spooky music. Celeste, be very judgmental with your zombie moans. Bruenor...more angry dad than pirate please. And Avren.
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
I think I know how to be a handsome undead hero.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Just...think 'tall.' Nat, you and Star are on props.
Icon Portrait Nat
Nat:
[signs] Got it!
Witchlight Portrait Star
Star:
[indicates] We will get it done!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Great. Yorven, don't let the sets fall down. Everyone remember to have fun, and also don't step on my lines.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Why are there so many people back here?
Witchlight Portrait MotherhornThespian
Motherhorn Thespian:
You again? Did you not sign up for a call time? The wait is three days.
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
We don't have three days. Gleam and Dottie are still waiting and the other two hags could track us down any minute.
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
Why don't you give us your spot? Won't you feel better going on after our very amateur production? It can only make you look better?
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Hey!
Witchlight Portrait MotherhornThespian
Motherhorn Thespian:
Or you make Endelyn so appalled she leaves and refuses to watch any other plays! Get to the back of the line with the rats!
26 Defeat 25 Enemies The line is long -- but you don't have time for this! Fight these costumed rats for a spot!
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
Hey, pal, you seem to be in charge here. Can you get us to the front of the line? I can offer you a truly ludicrous amount of gold.
Witchlight Portrait Stagefright
Stagefright:
Gold? Sir, this is the theater. We're not in it for the money. We're in it because we are passionate about the stage! Also we're strictly a barter economy around here.
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
Then...I'm sorry, I'm not from around here. Where I come from most bribes come in the form of gold or murder.
Witchlight Portrait Stagefright
Stagefright:
Look I'm not really supposed to say this, since it causes a lot of chaos...but what the hey, I'm bored. If you can battle your way to the front of the line, you can get in next.
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
That is very doable. Thank you!
Witchlight Portrait Stagefright
Stagefright:
Thank me when you've got past the rats. They have a script for 'A Tragedy at Twilight' and they're very motivated.
27 Defeat 25 Enemies Stagefright the stage manager says you need to fight your way to the front of the line. Start with these rats!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Is everyone off-script?
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
Er, what's off-script?
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
DO YOU HAVE YOUR LINES MEMORIZED?
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
Oh sure. 'Ho, me daughter where have ye been? What is...What is...' Blast it. Line?
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
'What is that dirt upon your knee, so redolent of the grave.'
Witchlight Portrait MotherhornThespian
Motherhorn Thespian:
You dolts don't deserve this play! We're taking those scripts!
28 Collect 25 Script Pages You need those script pages still! Get them back!
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
I dinnae see why it matters if I have it all memorized. If I forget, Yorven can whisper tha line ta me!
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
You've actually memorized the whole play, Murder-Bunny?
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
I have a good memory.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
And pretty terrible brushwork -- the sets aren't finished!
29 Defeat 25 Enemies There are so many enemies cluttering the backstage! Clear some space!
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
All right folks, you heard the goblin. We need to make a push for the front of the line.
Icon Giant Boo Costume
Giant Boo Costume Minsc:
Perhaps we could change the play to just be a fight scene where we do battle with evil.
Icon NPC Boo
Boo:
Squeak!
Icon Giant Boo Costume
Giant Boo Costume Minsc:
Well of course I will keep the costume on. It's very comfortable!
30 Defeat the Scary Nesting Doll Among the actors and vermin, a stack of creepy nesting dolls comes clattering out! Send them back to the toy box!
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
The brigganocks and korreds are here. They're getting ready.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
FINALLY. Get them in their costumes. Do they know their blocking?
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
Blooshi, I think you need to calm down a bit. This is all a ruse to get past our enemies.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Oh pondscum! Do we have enough enemies for the big battle scene? Can Baeloth make extras?
Witchlight Portrait Stagefright
Stagefright:
Oh, you need extras to play enemies? I'll send in some darklings. They always add some atmosphere. But hey, you're up next! Get out there and break a leg!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
All right, we need to get the set up, introduce the play, and get on our marks. Any questions?
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
Aye, what's a mark?
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Where you're supposed to stand. Just...help me get these trees in place.
Witchlight Portrait Darkling
Darkling:
Boss says you need extras. Where do you want us?
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
I don't know! I don't have time for that right now!
Witchlight Portrait Darkling
Darkling:
No worries, no worries. We'll just improvise. Ahem: If we are mark'd to die, we are enough to do our country loss! And if to live, the fewer men, the greater share of honour! Whee! Let's start stabbin'!
31 Defeat 25 Enemies The stage needs to be set -- but these rival actors are making trouble and the darklings don't know where to stand! Clear the stage and make it interesting!
32 Defeat 25 Enemies You've got lights! You've got actors! You've got entirely too many people crowding the stage!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Um these darklings are AMAZING.
Witchlight Portrait Darkling
Darkling:
Oh! Woe! I have been staaaaaaaaaaaabed! Mount, mount, my soul! thy seat is up on high; whilst my gross flesh sinks downward, here to die. BLAAAAARGGHHHH! *cough* *cough*
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
You think they're overselling it?
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
No. Such. Thing.
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
I'm not about to be outshone by some extras.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Your whole character is 'tall.' They can't beat you at 'tall'!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Okay that's the set in place, except the gravestones.
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
That's it? Where's the sizzle? Where's the panache?
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
It's a TRAGIC cemetery. It's not supposed to sizzle!
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
No one's going to believe you fell in love in this drab boring place -- even a zombie would want to get out of here. I'll fix it up! A few pink elephants!
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
GAH! No! No, no, no! Put up the gravestones yourself, I'm not doing this.
33 Collect 25 Painted Gravestones This cemetery is the most important set! Get those painted gravestones back and set them up!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
NO. PINK. ELEPHANTS.
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
All right, all right! Everyone's a critic. That's not the end of my repertoire anyway.
34 Defeat 25 Enemies Baeloth's going off script! Get those red pandas out of here!
Witchlight Portrait EndelynMoongrave
Endelyn:
Well, you can't say this is boring. Confusing as an underwater train wreck. But not boring.
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
I think that's Endelyn Moongrave up there watching! We need to start the play!
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
Say no more! Direct from Baeloth Barrityl's Illusory Black Pits Experience, it's the King of Feathers!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
NO NO NO NO!
35 Defeat the Baeloth's King of Feathers A tyrannosaurus wasn't in the script! Baeloth's illusions are out of control!
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
Baeloth, we're doing a tragedy not a spectacle. Quit it with the red pandas and dinosaurs!
Witchlight Portrait Darkling
Darkling:
O I am slain! Et tu, King of Feathers! BLARRRGH!
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
See? That's how you make a tragic spectacle. I don't know why I have to tell you this.
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
Keep your illusions to the script. We need some undead.
Icon Giant Boo Costume
Giant Boo Costume Minsc:
Welcome to our performance of 'Love Unsoiled' which is a play that I guess is about a frog girl that is in love with...whatever Avren is. But it's sad. And there's not going to be enough fighting evil for my tastes.
Icon NPC Boo
Boo:
Squeak!
Icon Giant Boo Costume
Giant Boo Costume Minsc:
Oh right. Our story opens in the cemetery outside...some village I forgot the name of. And there's a girl there.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Oh! Woe is me! I have been so long searching for my one true love! But none in my poor provincial town knows my true heart.
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Well met, lonely maiden. Do I...dazzle you?
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Uhhhh, I think you mean 'urgh grrr' tall, undead stranger. But oh my! Your undead hordes are attacking!
36 Defeat 25 Enemies The curtain rises, the play begins! Make a good show of fighting Baeloth's undead illusions!
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
I can tell you're not like other girls. Well, I'm not like other zombies.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Oookay. Well. Hear my soul speak! For the very instant I saw you I knew you were my one true love! And also that I want to be a necromancer.
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
You're intoxicated by my very presence.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
I...think we are working off different scripts, Handsome Zombie. But I know my heart! I will defy my father and wed only you, my undead darling!
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Excellent. Then we can discuss the pacts.
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
Ho, me daughter where have ye been? What is...What is...Ye got dirt on yer breeches lass, what's that about?
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
Psst! 'Redolent of the grave!'
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
And ye stink like a corpse!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Father! You and...your crew of pirates can never dissuade me from my romance. Even if -- ooh, idea happening -- one of your crew was already madly in love with me?
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
NOPE.
Icon Pirate Havilar
Pirate Havilar:
I'm just here to hold the harpoon.
37 Defeat 25 Enemies Plot twist! Distract the audience while you come up with a solution!
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
Do I have to do everything myself? Hang on. One love triangle coming up.
Icon Portrait DashingWerewolf
Dashing Werewolf:
Well met, beautiful maiden. Who's this undead clown?
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Excuse me, what? When did we get a love triangle? And why does he get to be so dashing?
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
I'd like to point out I can literally transform into a vicious bestial monster if you needed a werewolf.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Well we can't change it now!
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
Is this where I should come in?
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Are you going to get rid of that werewolf?
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
Urgh, argh, grrrr, my only son! The handsomest zombie! You cannot wed a living woman! -- I'm not saying 'girl' Blooshi, if you're old enough to get married, you're an adult. But really, you two should get to know each other. It's not wise to make a commitment on the fluttery new relationship feelings. If you --
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
LET THESE SKULLS SIGNIFY MY LOVE! And also my dedication to necromancy, which is an important plot thread I'd like us all to remember.
38 Collect 25 Skulls The skulls of love -- and necromancy! -- roll across the stage! Gather them back up before someone trips!
Icon Portrait DashingWerewolf
Dashing Werewolf:
Fair maiden, I have stacked your skulls of love and necromancy in this fetching tower, replicas of which will be available at all Black Pits franchise merchandise vendors. Ask for the Prismeer discount!
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
Baeloth! Stop it!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Oh! Woe is me! I have spent so long searching for my one true love, only to suddenly be faced with two very attractive...if hairy and kind of annoying options! What shall I do?
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
You really should stay away from me. I'm dangerous. And addictive.
Icon Portrait DashingWerewolf
Dashing Werewolf:
Addictive as value seats at the Black Pits! Great deals and you're right in the splash zone! You...beautiful maiden, you.
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Enough of this! You can't have her! Vampires, attack!
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
Oh that's how it is? Fine! Extra werewolves!
39 Defeat 25 Enemies Werewolves versus vampires! That's not overdone, right?
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
On the one hand, having two handsome monstrous men fighting over me is very flattering. On the other, I feel like what's getting lost in this is that I'm a person! One with hopes and dreams and choices. And also that I should be the powerful necromancer controlling you both.
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
How does a necromancer control a werewolf?
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
It's THEATER, Baeloth. Use your imagination!
Icon Portrait DashingWerewolf
Dashing Werewolf:
All right Sparkle Boy. This is between me and you now.
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Oh. Are we...is this a romance pivot?
Icon Portrait DashingWerewolf
Dashing Werewolf:
...I wasn't going for that, but...
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
No, no, you're probably right. It's supposed to be tragic, so the more death the better.
Icon Portrait DashingWerewolf
Dashing Werewolf:
Okay but maybe when the werewolf dies...no wait wait I've got it, I've got it. Let's do this.
40 Defeat the Dashing Werewolf The dashing werewolf's time has come! Make this fight dramatic and narratively impactful!
Icon Portrait DashingWerewolf
Dashing Werewolf:
O I am slain! And just when I realized...I was in love with both of you! And I'd just bought box seats to the Black Pits we could have shared, but they're in my name, and there are no refunds! How tragic! *cough* *cough* I'm dead!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
He's dead! Oh my heart!
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Bravo, Baeloth. I mean, come away with me fair maiden! We will flee this place, our judgmental neighbors and fearful parents, and start a new life! Er, un-life! Nothing can go wrong with that!
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
I mean...I can think of a few things.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Shush, Judgmental Mother Zombie! I will go with you my love!
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
The stage change is complete and the korreds are ready.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Thank you! I'm starting to think you're the only one taking this seriously. Ahem, O I promise I will be quick my undead darling! I need only the merest trappings of my life before you to bring with us on our flight from here.
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
You are my life now. I mean unlife.
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
Once again, I am home from me...I'm back from piratin' and so's me crew. Arrrgh! Daughter what are ye doin'? Who is this tall stranger? And does he have some dinner fer me?
Icon Pirate Havilar
Pirate Havilar:
Yeah, Avren, who are you?
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
I'm...dangerous. And addictive. Did I say that already? Anyway, minions! Defend me!
41 Defeat 25 Enemies The angry father has arrived and more vampire spawn attack to protect our doomed couple! Make it look good!
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
No daughter o' mine is gonna run off with a good fer nothin' zombie! This relationship is a dead end! Get it?
Icon Pirate Jarlaxle
Pirate Jarlaxle:
Yeah, we're not supposed to do jokes.
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
Not even a pun? What kind o' play is this?
Icon Pirate Havilar
Pirate Havilar:
A trashy-dy? I think?
Portrait Nayeli Prismeer
Prismeer Nayeli:
Ho! I come from the lord's castle! He has heard there is a monstrosity roaming this country and the villagers are in revolt!...I said the villagers are in revolt! Korreds! Let's go!
42 Defeat 25 Enemies The korreds arrive to do their parts as angry villagers clashing with the zombie and his friends! Help them out!
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
Now ye gone and done it, zombie! Fer that, I'm gonna slap ye with a fish! Quick, Baeloth, gimme a salmon! A FUNNY salmon!
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
If one's good, two dozen is better!
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
Take that, ye durn zombie! Ye'll never win me daughter!
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Ouch! Oh broken planes, how does it smell so bad?
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
Rotting salmon is funnier, nine times out of ten.
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
Get the rotting salmon off stage before we make Endelyn mad! This is getting out of control!
43 Collect 25 Rotting Salmon There's rotting salmon all over the stage! And what a stink! Clean it up before Endelyn kicks you out!
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
All right! This has gone far enough. You are both too young to be making these kinds of decisions. You should sit down with your parents, your friends, maybe a trusted religious leader and discuss whether it is worth throwing away everything you know and love for a romance that's only twenty minutes old!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Um, also the necromantic power of a zombie horde.
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
That doesn't make it better! You need to have a little common sense! ...um...grrrr, arrrgh, grrr...brains.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Anyway. NOOOOOO! The lord of the manor is enraged by our love! What shall we do!
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
I was mostly prepared to smolder so...I guess I could try that at the angry villagers?
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
[sigh] I'm beginning to think I need to see other zombies.
44 Defeat 25 Enemies Our lovers can never truly be free of their society's expectations! Battle the angry villagers!
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
All right the korreds and the brigganocks are doing their best, but this is not cutting it.
Icon Portrait Nat
Nat:
[signs] Needs more crocodiles.
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
You are a brilliant child and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise, one crocodile coming up!
45 Defeat the Bullywug Riding a Crocodile A crocodile does add a certain something to the peril! Defeat that bullywug riding a crocodile!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
O my love! We must flee! Up the path to the cliffs! It's the only way!
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Do we have a hot air balloon up there or some kind of flying beast? I just don't know that I believe in my character plummeting to his doom.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Avren, it's a tragedy. Stop it.
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
Urrrrgh, arrgh, my son! Make better choices! I still love you though! Grrrrr!
Icon Pirate Bruenor
Pirate Bruenor:
Baeloth! Baeloth! We need some cream pies fer this part!
Icon Portrait Nat
Nat:
[signs] Wow, the cliffs look great. Very believable.
Witchlight Portrait Star
Star:
[indicates] You did good work, Yorven!
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
Thank you. I still think something's missing.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Come my love! We can only flee the hordes! Unless I suddenly develop some amazing powers to control my slain enemies? Do we have those extras still? No?
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
What happened to 'it's a tragedy, stop trying to make it about you'?
Portrait Nayeli Prismeer
Prismeer Nayeli:
You have interrupted the wedding of the lord of the manor! This picturesque cliff face has been reserved! So you must die!
46 Defeat 25 Enemies The guests press the doomed couple to the cliff's edge! The drama increases!
Witchlight Portrait EndelynMoongrave
Endelyn:
I almost like it. But it's definitely too upbeat. Needs more ironic pain.
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
People! We're losing her!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Here we are on this high cliff, with only the cold ocean beneath us! These wedding guests, symbols of love and also entitlement, want to force us over it! And...I'm honestly having second thoughts here. Maybe your mother was right.
Witchlight Portrait EndelynMoongrave
Endelyn:
Ooh interesting. That's gotta hurt.
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
My mother was...Are you serious right now? We're about to be pushed into the sea by a horde of bullywug soldiers and you want to tell me my mother was RIGHT.
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
That's right, audience. You should listen to your parents. They might have something important to say that will save you a lot of agony. Grrrrr, arrrgh.
47 Defeat 25 Enemies Get this play back on track! Fight those angry wedding guests! It's a symbol! Maybe?
Portrait Nayeli Prismeer
Prismeer Nayeli:
Your fate is sealed! The lord of the manor approaches and he will cast his judgment upon you! With...Baeloth, why are we doing satyrs?
Witchlight Portrait Star
Star:
[indicates] Problem! Problem! Problem!
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
What's wrong? The fact that this isn't a tragedy? The fact that Baeloth keeps improvising? Or that Avren is playing the zombie as an action hero?
Witchlight Portrait Star
Star:
[indicates] I know what you forgot. Missing big-man.
Icon Portrait Nat
Nat:
[signs] Oh no. Nobody is playing the lord of the manor! They don't have the final villain set up! We have to do something.
Icon Yorven
Yorven:
So. My time has come after all. Stay here children.
48 Collect 25 Satyr Weapons Stall for time! You still need a Lord of the Manor! Drag out that fight with the satyrs!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
We can go no further...I...Oh pondscum, Lord of the Manor. How did I forget that?
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Can we not just fly in this play? That doesn't seem like it would be that hard.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
You don't just get to be cool because you want to be cool. Why are you even a sparkly zombie? That's not a thing!
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
Bruenor threw glitter on me. He said 'Gotcha' so I assumed it was part of the show?
Icon Undead Celeste
Undead Celeste:
Children, this is why we plan ahead when we have important undertakings. Selûne says all things in their due course, but let's not flout good sense.
49 Defeat 25 Enemies Everything's coming to pieces! Where's Yorven? Keep fighting and hope Endelyn doesn't notice it's all going wrong!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
I guess I jump off the cliff? Ugh.
Icon Thespian Yorven
Thespian Yorven:
Not so fast, fair maiden! You thought you could escape my justice!
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
And add a lightning bolt for emphasis! Boom!
Icon Thespian Yorven
Thespian Yorven:
It is I, the lord of the manor!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
...Oh. Not the lord of the manor! He'll punish us for defying his cruel no necromancy laws and interrupting his wedding! I guess? Are you getting married?
Icon Thespian Yorven
Thespian Yorven:
Did your father never tell you, fair maiden? You were CURSED! To only marry me! This is YOUR wedding, and the gift I demand is the slaughter of your zombie love!
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
All right, this is definitely not in the script.
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
Quiet, you! Oh beneficent lord! Show mercy! For I am but a fair maiden and also a budding necromancer -- hey, actually, maybe instead of getting married, you could hire me to be like your protegé? Or official skullmistress and vampire wrangler? I'm really good.
Icon Thespian Yorven
Thespian Yorven:
Never! For you have also been cursed to never be able to practice necromancy! For some reason! But you really want to so...you can't! I want no happiness in my lands, so I shall slay your beloved and trap you in my castle where you can...do something very boring, um...
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
No! Not...cataloguing your collection of...interesting looking napkins! Anything but that! I'd rather die!
Icon Thespian Yorven
Thespian Yorven:
THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!
Icon Thespian Blooshi
Thespian Blooshi:
I shall bring you down with me!
50 Defeat the Thespian Yorven The climactic battle between the fair maiden and the lord of the manor needs some extra action! Fight Yorven in his costumed best!
Icon Giant Boo Costume
Giant Boo Costume Minsc:
And so, I guess, the frog girl and the murder-bunny died of falling off a cliff in a dramatic storm. That was wild. I can't believe that happened.
Icon Pirate Baeloth
Pirate Baeloth:
Also the wedding guests all came down with the plague from either satyr-fleas or zombie-contagion and everybody died! Except the handsome zombie who was doomed to be alone.
Icon Zombie Avren
Zombie Avren:
It's fine, I've got my own thing going on.
Icon NPC Boo
Boo:
Squeak!
Icon Giant Boo Costume
Giant Boo Costume Minsc:
That's right. The end. It's over. Everyone can clap now.
Witchlight Portrait EndelynMoongrave
Endelyn:
Well. That was certainly a tragedy, in multiple senses of the word. Come closer, you troupe of weirdos. Let's see what we can do to help each other.
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